Legosi looks for Haru
by Michael McDoesn'texist
Summary: Pretty self explanatory to be honest.


**Existence is pain**

* * *

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, kids were having unsafe sex in the bushes, all was well. But Legosi wasn't in a very bright mood. He had walked into the woods near the school, as if he had embarked on some sort of quest. Legosi suddenly noticed the weebs reading this and put a finger up to his lips.

"SHHHHH! Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh."

He sniffed the air, trying to find a scent. And he succeeded. The delicate, sweet fragrance of rabbit meat **(****not that kind of meat you perv)** and yet, something was off... Legosi kept sniffing and deduced that there was another scent, but of what animal?

He kept wandering around until suddenly, his ears picked up a sound. It was her voice, 100%. But there was someone else. His heart started beating faster and faster as he came ever closer. He picked up the pace and almost ran towards the source of the sounds and the scent. He tripped and fell on his face, oh noes! But he was almost there. He crawled inside a nearby bush, pushed the branches away and he gasped!

_***GASP***_

Haru-chan!

With Louis-senpai!

It was almost too much for his poor, christian, virgin eyes. It was almost as bad as the time his mother caught him whacking his pp to human porn. He thought they were his friends and yet, there they were. Playing Monopoly without him.

Never before had he felt this betrayed. But his sadness quickly turned to anger. They would pay for this.

"Just you wait you little deery and you wascawwy wabbit! Once you get back to the school, I will make you howl like a wolf. Like me. You will regret the day you played Monopoly; my favourite boardgame, without me. Haru-chan! You will wish I had killed and eaten you that one night. Louis-senpai! I will silence and emberass you in front of the whole school! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Legosi is that you?" Louis asked, looking over at the bush Legosi was hiding in.

"Oopsie. GOTTA GO FAST!" Legosi said and he sprinted away.

"Who was that? What was all that evil talk about?" Haru wondered.

"No clue." Louis said. "Anyway, I still win the game, meaning that you have to do what you promised." He said to the rabbit.

"Perform cock-and-ball torture on you?" Haru asked.

"Hell yeah bb!"

And so it happened.

* * *

_**Fuck transitions**_

* * *

Legosi had set everything up perfectly for his revenge. He would wait until Louis would enter the stage and then shine the brightest light in his face. Then he would expose the one thing Louis hated the most about himself: his weird pinky.

It was so evil Legosi could barely contain his laughter.

Louis entered the stage. The crowd watching the play were thouroughly entertained, when suddenly.

_***boom***_

All the lights went out. Except for one. The one focussed on Louis. The deer, normally so vocal and confident, was stunned. He could only look directly in front of him and he couldn't speak. Because after all...

He was a deer. In the headlight.

**Aight Imma go kill myself now**

Legosi smiled.

"Now is the time!"

But then, suddenly, from behind the curtains, Tem the Alpaca jumped on stage. Everyone gasped.

"What the heck?" Legosi mumbled to himself.

"Oh shit." Tem said. "Caught redhanded."

Louis snapped out of his trance and yelled: "TEM! YOU'RE ALIVE!"

Tem pulled a microphone out of nowhere and said: "Yes. I am still alive. Ladies and Gentlemen, I habe faked my death."

"But why?

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH ATTENTION OKAY?" Tem growled and he spat on the floor. "Judgemental ass deer with his damn weird pinky."

Louis was very hurt by that comment and he ran off the stage crying.

Tem was asked many questions about how he staged his death and became somewhat of a celebrity. He even managed to tap Els, even though she has a boyfriend according to the manga. Good job Tem.

Legosi completely forgot that he was going to avenge himself and continued to live his normal life, taking some free time every now and then to play Monopoly with actual trustworthy friends and not some bunny-thot.

Speaking of which, Haru kept practicing cock-and-ball torture, later on becoming a professional dominatrix and living a happy life.

I don't know what else to say.

_**THE END**_

* * *

**What if Epstein did actually kill himself?**


End file.
